thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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