Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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