Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
