carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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