Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
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Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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