The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
