It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
