and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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