this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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