I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
