Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
