Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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