Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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