saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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