He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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