So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you told grandpa to call you daddy
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
