its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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