Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
