chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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