I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
