just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
