I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
