Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
