so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
