im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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