If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
