He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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