Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
