And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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