watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
