We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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