I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
