Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
