yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
