I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
