Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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