So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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