she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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