is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?