yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.