I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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