Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it. http://tfl.nu/iplm
  Replies (41) Good night (3642) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision. http://tfl.nu/ohzv
  Replies (7) Good night (4448) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4172) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid http://tfl.nu/btyl
  Replies (22) Good night (4600) Bad night (2102)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y
  Replies (9) Good night (4290) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you http://tfl.nu/pl4e
  Replies (2) Good night (3131) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in. http://tfl.nu/drz3
  Replies (6) Good night (1489) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy http://tfl.nu/3ht2
  Replies (16) Good night (2164) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn http://tfl.nu/981u
  Replies (6) Good night (2587) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth http://tfl.nu/or2s
  Replies (17) Good night (509) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He should be castrated

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): He should be castrated (604): Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons http://tfl.nu/5v9r
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g
  Replies (8) Good night (1432) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children.. http://tfl.nu/lakp
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+34): Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/s4tk
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (191)

Randomize