Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME