We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
