i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
