i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
