is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize