he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
40s are totally the cure
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
