i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
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I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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