I want to walk on stilts...naked
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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