We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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