Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
