Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
