And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
