What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
