I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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