bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
