This is not my ceiling
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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