so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
