Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's always time for handjobs
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
