I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
