FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
