there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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