my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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