And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
