Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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