she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
