you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize