I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
