my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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