Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
